What better way to celebrate April Fools’ Day than with science jokes? The Scientist turned to its readers and editors for their favorite science quips and one-liners. Enjoy a collection packed with wit, wordplay, and whimsy. Read on for a dose of laughter!
Biology: Cell-ebrating Good Humor
Alexander Rakhmilevich, cancer immunologist at the University of Wisconsin–Madison
Q: What is one-millionth of a mouthwash?
A: A micro-Scope.
Zev Leifer, professor emeritus from The Leifer Institute of Molecular and Digital Pathology
A biology professor trained a spider to jump on command. When he cut off all the spider’s legs in class, he announced: "We have now proven that when you cut off all the legs of a spider, the spider becomes deaf!”
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Aayudh Sangwan, student at Debden Park High School
Q: What do you call a professional teenager?
A: A pro-teen.
Stephanie DeMarco, managing editor at The Scientist
Q: One plant says to the other, "Are you hungry?" The other replies, "I could use a light snack."
Sneha Khedkar, assistant editor at The Scientist
Q: Do you know what gets on my nerves?
A: Myelin
Gozel Atakgayeva, graduate student at Toronto Metropolitan University
Q: Why should you bring a ribosome on a vacation with you?
A: To help you translate!
Chemistry: Periodic Laughs Guaranteed
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Meenakshi Prabhune, editor-in-chief at The Scientist
Two scientists walk into a bar. One says, “I’ll have some H₂O.” The other says, “I’ll have H₂O too.” The second scientist dies.
Shelby Bradford, associate editor at The Scientist
Q: What do you do with a sick chemist?
A: If you can’t helium or curium, then you barium!
Robin Peterman, science teacher at Muncy Junior/Senior High School
Q: What happens to change the electron configurations after 3p?
A: After element 18 (Ar), the patterns "Are Gone."
Physics: Zero Gravity, Maximum Laughs
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C.M. Poortman, immuno-oncology researcher at Precigen
A proton checks into a hotel. The manager asks, "Do you have any luggage?" The proton replies, "No, I'm traveling light."
Jeffrey Short, global brand and content manager at Beckman Coulter Life Sciences
You should never trust atoms. They make up everything.
Laura Tran, associate editor at The Scientist
Q: Why does a burger have less energy than a steak?
A: Because it is in its ground state.
Responses have been edited for length and clarity.
